the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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