she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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