dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
