Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My liver just had a heart attack.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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