just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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