it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
