you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
