The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's shark week go big or go home
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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