Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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