So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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