i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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