I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
