Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
