she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
