Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
