She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
