you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
