My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
