Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
