If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
