I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
