Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
