Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you will always have a special place in my vag
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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