I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
