I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
