I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
