I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So I just went to clothing optional bar
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
