i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
