I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
