For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
