Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
