great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
