wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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