okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
