Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
