the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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