Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
