Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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