She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
