it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
