Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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