my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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