That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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