I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
