CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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