I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
