Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
