Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
