I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
