we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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