we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
