I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
