I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
