so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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